I’m an editor and proofreader, a poet and writer, a soon-to-be author, a Healing Touch for Animals® practitioner, and labyrinth enthusiast, and a 63-year-old with two furry companions realizing, maybe for the first time, that I have a vision I will never realize.

If it tells you anything, my forthcoming books are about managing depression and bearing witness to what is.

Yeah.

One of the questions posed to me by therapists is “What would you do if money were not an obstacle?” or “What would you do if you won the lottery?” The first time was in 2020. I had just resigned from a very toxic job, and because it was just as everyone was being sent home to work due to COVID, the job I had lined up fell through. I was taking care of two very sick cats, trying to decide what to do about work, and recovering from a workplace I can only describe as grossly unethical and damaging to its employees. I didn’t want to consider the question; I will always have money issues and it will always be an obstacle.

But one day, in-between cleaning diarrhea off the carpet and fixing dinner, I decided to give it a shot. What would I do if I could? If there were no obstacles?

It came to me pretty quickly, and over the next week I put all my plans down on paper. I’d build a new no-kill animal sanctuary/shelter with state-of-the-art equipment and innovative policies. As I started to draw and make lists and do research, I consider all the possibilities, and it became a project over the next couple of years. Driving me was the idea of a place that was truly no-kill and the very strong desire to do something that could live on after I’m gone.

I eventually discarded the whole idea, but before letting it go, I had drawn the physical design, created a detailed interior, written up job descriptions for paid staff and volunteers, decided to also use fosters, chosen some initial fundraising ideas, made a wish list on Amazon, and developed a program for volunteers of all ages. My answer to the question changed after that–twice–but I’ve finally come back to the sanctuary plans. I think it was hard to think about, because I knew I’d never be able to pull it off. Something like this takes money–lots of it–and I am not wealthy nor very good at reaching out for help.

Now, though, it feels like a possibility. Well, in theory, anyway. The drive to advocate for a no-kill solution is strong, and recent events have shown me that we need people and facilities who will not give up on those animals deemed “unadoptable.” I believe that there is a person or family for every animal, and if I could spend the rest of my life proving that, I would. It would be a LOT of hard work, but I already have the vision and the framework. Trouble is, I will never have the kind of money something like this takes to get off the ground. Money for land and building, for attorneys and fees. I’m convinced it would be successful once we got started, but getting it started is the main drawback. I know there are people out there who would donate, and maybe even some who would help with the search for high-end sponsors. I can’t do it alone, but finding that partner or partners who has the same drive and passion as I do feels insurmountable.

Do you have an unrealized dream?