When I was in elementary school a neighborhood boy – older than my 10 or so – would kick me on a regular basis during recess. I have no memory of the time; my mom has told me the story over and over, how I told her one day after school, how she went to the principal, and how it never happened again.
What I do remember is the relentless bullying I endured after school, on the weekends, and during the summer by this boy and several of his older friends. Taunts and threats made because of who I was, as my father’s daughter. What I remember clearly is the anger and the fear and the feeling that I was not as good as they were, whatever that meant.
In the 60s and early 70s, strong kids picking on weaker ones was not something most people took notice of. Parents told their children to “just ignore” them or “you can’t let them get to you.” While some of those children grew up with no ill effects, few did. Being the target of a childhood bully is something that often affects a person into adulthood.
In the 21st century, when bullying seems to be the norm, professionals and lay alike have tried to institute policies and provide platforms for addressing the harm it does. The government, for example, has a website that explores definitions, state laws and policies, training, warning signs, and prevention.
Citizens and organizations have also joined together to create a wide variety of programs to prevent and combat bullying:
http://www.pacer.org/bullying/about/ (National Bullying Prevention Center)
The statistics are sobering, with bullying involving not only direct contact with the victim, but a high incidence of cyberbullying. According to the Antibullying Institute, 75% of all school shootings involved bullying or harassment, 83% of girls and 79% of boys reports some sort of harassment, over half of all students bullied do not report it, and bullies often go on to commit violent acts later in life.
http://antibullyinginstitute.org/facts#.W1ZYDdVKg7Z
According to bullyingstatistics.org,
Bully victims are between 2 to 9 times more likely to consider suicide than non-victims, according to studies by Yale University
This begs the question: are we doing enough? Clearly not. Until there are antibullying programs in every school in the nation, coupled with required courses that teach empathy and compassion, bullying will continue, leaving in its wake victims that will likely spend a good portion of their lives overcoming its effects.
It’s interesting to note that all of the major antibullying sites only mention bullying in childhood. If many bullies grow up to continue the cycle of violence, wouldn’t it make sense that at least some adults experience bullying, as well? In fact, according to bullyingstatics.org, there are several different types of adult bullying. In any case,
It is important to note, though, that there is little you can do about an adult bully, other than ignore and try to avoid, after reporting the abuse to a supervisor. This is because adult bullies are often in a set pattern. They are not interested in working things out and they are not interested in compromise. Rather, adult bullies are more interested in power and domination. They want to feel as though they are important and preferred, and they accomplish this by bringing others down.
According to the Workplace Bullying Institute, effects of bullying by co-workers can result in both physical and psychological harm, hours lost, and often a significant economic impact on the victim in terms of a lost job and loss of insurance, which will affect both them and their family.
How can teachers and employers combat bullying? In both cases, recognition is key. Being able to identify bullying behavior is paramount to doing something about it. Furthermore, education of those who may receive reports of bullying by victims or onlookers is crucial. If teachers and employers understand the impact of bullying and their states’ laws (as well as their institutions’ policies), it is more likely they will act to implement immediate changes and protect the safety of their students and employees. Finally, through that education, they can also learn methods of preventing and addressing the issue when they are (inevitably) confronted with it.
The Grey Zone 